It’s always the quiet ones – life as an introvert

“It’s always the quiet ones…”. If I had a piece of cake for every time I’ve heard this phrase, I’d be happily drowning in a…


“It’s always the quiet ones…”. If I had a piece of cake for every time I’ve heard this phrase, I’d be happily drowning in a sea of delicious cake that even Bruce Bogtrotter from Matilda would be envious of. I’ve always been referred to as the ‘quiet one’.

Even in my end of High School Leavers’ Book my tutor made a remark about how I was the quiet one (it was something along the lines of “she’s friendly and funny, despite being so quiet”). Being the quiet one comes with so many negative misconceptions and false judgements.  It’s almost as if being quiet is some kind of taboo.

Seriously, I’m tired of it and I feel it’s time for the ‘quiet one’ to speak up and put an end to some of those misconceptions.

What It Means To Be An Introvert

I’m an introvert, which means I find satisfaction from within. I don’t feel the need to share my thoughts, be involved in the action or be the center of attention 24/7. Considering I’m happy to pour my heat out on the internet, I guess that’s kind of an oxymoron isn’t it? But in general day-to-day life, I keep myself to myself and you’ll never see me fighting for the center-stage spot.
Sometimes, I’m happy to just sit on the side lines and take in everything that’s going on without having to comment on it all. You could say I’m a wallflower; a quiet observer. Though to so many extroverts, being introverted is beyond their realms of understanding. Many people think that if you’re an introvert you must lead a 2D life and be completely and utterly boring.

Does Being An Introvert Make You Boring?

Am I boring? Hell no! So why do people judge us this way, just because we’re quiet?
Being quiet adds an air of mystery. I don’t feel the need for people to know every inch of my life story. I’ve done some interesting things so far in my 21 years of life. I just don’t scream and shout about it. When I tell people that I’ve done a spontaneous 20 ft. free fall jump (it was 8am, I was hungover and it was honestly a brilliant hangover cure and use of £4), they are gobsmacked. They can’t believe that I would do that, simply because I’m quiet.
That makes no sense, what so ever. Being quiet doesn’t mean being void of any kind of personality or ability to have fun. Introverts simply just pay attention to their thoughts and feelings rather than focusing solely on the world around them.
I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything but, I’m a right laugh. II’ve got a sharp wit and an even sharper-tongue which work together to create my dry sense of humour. You won’t see me presenting any comedy shows anytime soon but take the time to speak to me and you’ll see my personality starts to shine through.
The difference with being an introvert is simply that I just don’t feel it necessary to speak up and share my story with everyone. I’m really not interested in impressing anybody or captivating the attention of everyone around me. I’d rather keep people guessing, wondering what kind of things I’ve done, than just boast about it all the very first time I meet them. Yeah, I definitely prefer being an introvert, a lady of mystery.

The Difference Between Being An Introvert and Being Shy

Now, let’s just clear up one of the biggest misconceptions out there. Being an introvert and being shy are two completely different things.
Being quiet and introverted doesn’t mean lacking confidence. I’m happy in my own skin and I’m even happier when I’m pushing my boundaries and stepping out of my comfort zone. In fact, I thrive in environments that push my limits.
I once went to a music festival, on my own, with no way home. I worked as an Artist Liaison, looking after the music artists back stage, had access all areas, met some colourful characters and had an amazing time. Then, on the last day I just packed up my tent and hitch-hiked back home without any phone signal. Literally hitch-hiked. I had no way of contact anyone, was doing a job I’d never done before and most definitely didn’t have a meticulous plan.
Yet, because I’m quiet…I couldn’t surely have done such a thing. I’ve done a lot of things, that would ‘shock’ people because I can be so quiet. I’m quiet, but I’m confident. I love a spot of spontaneity, and the unknown excites me. So, just because someone is quiet, don’t be so quick to assume that they lack confidence or character. Please don’t assume that quiet is weak and loud is strong. It simply isn’t true. Some of the loudest people can be the most insecure, lacking confidence. While some of the quietest people can be the most self-assured and confident.
If I’m quiet, it must be because I have nothing interesting to say, right? Wrong. I just don’t always feel the need to engage in small talk. I apologise if that comes across as rude. Sometimes, I can be blunt and very to the point. Other times, I can hold deep, meaningful conversations. And sometimes, I love a good debate. There are somany topics of conversation that deeply interest me. Gosh, I could speak for days about certain topics. I just speak when I wish to. I can be the loudest person in the room if I want to. Some of us just choose not to be. By quietly observing I can learn a lot about the other people in the room…whilst they are just left wondering why I’m so quiet. Remember, the quietest person can have the loudest of minds.

What I Love About Being An Introvert

The thing I love most about being an introvert is that I march to the beat of my own drum. I don’t crave shallow, social relationships. That doesn’t mean I’m a total loner. I crave deep and meaningful social interaction. Believe it or not, I enjoy authentic company of a select few people rather than being in a large social setting. I don’t need to be surrounded by a sea of strangers to have fun. In fact, I can be happy in my own company. I don’t crave to fit in with crowd. I’m happy being me and going about things my own way. I’ve done so many exciting things in life and I plan to do so much more. I’m an introvert, I’m not boring and I’m not shy.
Next time you see the ‘quiet one’ in the room, don’t be so quick to judge them. There’s so much to them below that quiet surface. After all, a world without introverts would be a world with few great literary talent, musicians, artists or other creative souls. J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates,  Audrey Hepburn, Emma Watson…What do these four have in common? They are all incredibly successful and all self-proclaimed introverts. The proof that there is so much more than an introvert than just being quiet. All us introverts ask is that you stop making such false judgements about us. We know how to have fun, trust me. Oh and you don’t need to tell us that we are ‘soooo’ quiet, we already know that.


    1. Thank you so much! I've ticked a few things off my bucket-list and it honestly feels so amazing to do :). The free-fall jump was terrifying haha, it sure gets the adrenaline pumping!

  1. I can definitely relate to this post! I am not shy or quiet either, just choosing to contribute when I wish to. When people meet me they say I am not shy or quiet… just reserved. I bet you get this too! And they're surprised when I can talk to them for hours about a subject we both enjoy!

    Definitely it's much better to surprise people than for them to think 'I already know.' Sounds like you've done some amazing things in your life already! 🙂

    Julia xo

    1. Thanks Julia! I know exactly what you mean by just contributing when you wish to. I love the connections of being able to speak to someone for hours on end about a particular topic- deep conversations are always my favourite :).

  2. You sum up me, to a tee. Especially to do with the fact that just because you are quiet, doesn't mean you aren't confident. It's so true!

    Great post!

    1. Thanks Meg! It's great to know that you can relate to this post :). So many people jump to the conclusion that if you aren't talking all the time then you must lack confidence, but it can be the complete opposite! Thank you 🙂

  3. I LOVE this post and totally relate! Everyone thinks it is weird that I would rather spend time alone rather than be around people 24/7, it really wears me out!

    1. I agree with you! Some days you need a break for the social interaction to recharge and reenergise.I get so excited by the prospects of having entire weekends to myself, it can be absolute bliss 🙂

  4. This is a beautifully written post. I can identify with so much of what you've said – I prefer to be friends with fewer people, but those I don't need to impress or run after to keep up with. I'm more thoughtful, sometimes I don't feel the need to speak at all, but other times you can't shut me up! Being an introvert doesn't mean that you have nothing to say, rather it means the things you do say are more carefully constructed. I have a great deal of self confidence, and while I may not be the loudest voice in the room, doesn't mean my presence isn't as valuable as others.

    I really enjoyed your post 🙂

    1. Wow, thank you so much! You've summed it up perfectly in your comment. We're definitely on the same level. My best friend is someone that I can go weeks without speaking to (gosh, when I was at uni we didn't speak for months) but as soon as we're together, it's as if we were never apart. Having friends who understand your need for space and alone time is amazing :). I love your final comment and couldn't agree more that the quiet person in the room is just as valuable 🙂

    2. Omg yeah I'm the same me and my best friend just understand that when we're both at uni we're both busy we don't need to chat all the time because we know it'll be exactly the same when we're back home 🙂 yeah certainly!

  5. You're such a good writer! It's really interesting to hear all this from an introverts perspective. I'm very much an extrovert myself (have been all my life, no point denying it) so it's great to hear your thoughts! It's funny how we're all wired to be so totally different in this way isn't it?
    Fab post!
    lily x

    1. Thank you so much, Lily! This is amazing coming from you. Honestly, your writing style is one of my favourites so thank you. It's lovely to see that as an extrovert you enjoyed reading this post from the other point of view to your own :). I find the mind so interesting, I could get lost for hours thinking about how incredible it us that we're all so unique with our own quirks!

  6. Hi,

    Thanks for the post and yes I can totally relate to everything you have written. As an introvert myself I have also been told as various workplaces ‘it’s always the quiet ones’ as if it is the funniest joke ever.

    Where has it been written that being an extrovert is the only way to be?? Never shutting up is not a sign of strength. To me that is ruder and more stuck up that bring quiet some times.

    Also it is frustrating when people judge your quietness and assume you don’t have a life. Even though I’m an introvert I still have a life and have hobbies. I practise martial arts, skiing, paddleboarding, go to meetup events try new things yet because I’m an introvert I don’t get recognised for doing these things. It’s ridiculous.

    Hopefully things will keep changing I’m society and eventually be more tolerant.

    Kind Regards,


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