Stop sugar-coating your feelings to impress others

Valentine’s Day is a holiday that I just can’t ever get on board with. I’m sorry if you’re all about the supermarket chocolates, roses and a two can dine for £15 meal deal on a corporate holiday but it’s just not for me.

Although I may be a cynic when it comes to love, I wholeheartedly believe that your affection for someone shouldn’t be reserved for just one day out of 365. More importantly, you shouldn’t need a hallmarked day to show that person your love.

Hey, if you love someone, then why not show them all year round? You don’t need grand, empty gestures on a corporate holiday to express your feelings. I’m not one for showboating, or going overboard with my affection.

Actually, I’m quite the opposite. My affection is simple. But I believe that’s the kind of affection that matters. I’d like to think other people would appreciate those sporadic romantic gestures or little acts of love far more than a mass-produced card on a consumer holiday.

So pour yourself a Rose Spirtz (psst. that’s a Fentiman’s rose lemonade with Prosecco with garnishes of blueberries and thyme by the way), get comfortable and realise why it’s time we made some changes around here.

SPEAK YOUR MIND

If I I’m not happy with someone, I‘ll tell them. If I like someone, I‘ll tell them. Had a nice night with someone? You guessed it – I‘ll tell them.

I haven’t always been the kind of girl who speaks her mind. But I’m glad that I am now. The days of holding my tongue and shrinking myself to suit somebody else are long gone. I’m not afraid to speak my mind or tell people what I’m thinking.

Now, I understand that that level of communication, honesty and debate is healthy. Actually, I believe it’s necessary if you want to grow as a person.

STOP HOLDING BACK

The truth is, life is too short to spend your time not saying or doing the things you want to. It’s too short to not show people your affection. If you care about someone, don’t wait until some corporate holiday in the middle of February to show them. Just do it. What’s stopping you from doing it on any other day of the year?

Too many of us waste time and moments in life by holding back. But it’s time we stopped. It’s time to stop holding back and start stepping out of your comfort zone. Tell the person you like them. Do whatever that thing is that scares you. Stop waiting for an excuse to do or say the things you want to and just do them regardless.

YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE

Whilst I believe that it’s important to show people you care. I also believe you shouldn’t waste your time or energy on those who don’t care about you. If someone doesn’t have your best interests at heart or appreciate you, why do you keep trying to impress them?

My independence is something that I pride myself on. But I haven’t always been little miss independent. For far too long, I found myself trying too hard to impress others. Changing who I was to fit what I thought other people wanted. The truth is, I would shrink myself to massage the ego of my boyfriend/friend with benefits/guy I was sleeping with/whoever they were.

Thankfully, those days are long gone.

Now, I’m not saying you should become a total dick, who isn’t ever nice to anyone. No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. But, just stop trying quite so hard to please everyone. Not everyone is going to think the sun shines out of your ass…and that’s okay.

You can’t make everybody happy so you shouldn’t make it your mission to put a smile on everybody’s face either.

The game-playing stopped when the pretending to be something I’m not to make other people happy also stopped. All that is left with me, is honesty. Brutal honesty. If I want to do something nice for someone and show them that I care, then I’ll do just that. I don’t need one day in the year to show my feelings to someone. Likewise, I won’t try to be someone I’m not to make another person happy. I won’t stifle my voice to make another’s voice louder.

The truth is, I’m over sugar-coating things and as a result, I’m happy. In fact, I couldn’t be happier. My life is free from toxicity. Instead, it’s filled with genuinely good people that I’m happy to keep around. Because the moment I stopped trying to please others is the moment that the fake friends disappeared.

Honestly, it’s refreshing. Almost as refreshing as the Fentimans rose spritz, might I add?!

I’m a huge fan of Fentiman’s, as I’m sure you already know, so treating myself to new Fentiman’s infused drinks is always something I look forward to.Roses are symbolic of love and Fentiman’s Rose Lemonade is made with real roses from Bulgaria. If there’s ever a fitting time to drink up a Rose-infused drink, it’s probably now.

So, this Valentine’s Day, I urge you to quit trying to impress people who don’t care. Stop pretending to be somebody you’re not and just be, unapologetically, you.

Speak your mind, like the things you like and do whatever you want to do. If you care about someone, show them. But just do it because you want to. Do it without question, without an alternative motive and without seeking anything in return. Grand gestures of love mean nothing if they’re only done in seek of approval.

The moment you stop trying to impress others and learn to love who you are, as you are, is the moment you will be happier. As a result, you’ll find your life is filled with the best kind of people, who you shouldn’t ever have to try to impress or win over.

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