It’s always the quiet ones: life as an introvert

“It’s always the quiet ones…”. If I had a pair of Louboutins for every time I’ve heard this phrase, I’d be happily drowning in a sea of beautiful high heels. I’ve always been referred to as the ‘quiet one’. Even in my end of High School Leavers’ Book my tutor made a remark about how I was the quiet one (it was something along the lines of “she’s friendly and funny, despite being so quiet”). Being the quiet one comes with so many negative misconceptions
and false judgements.  It’s almost as if being quiet is some kind of taboo. Seriously, I’m tired of it and I feel it’s time for the ‘quiet one’ to speak up and put an end to some of those misconceptions.

I’m an introvert, which means I find satisfaction from within. I don’t feel the need to share my thoughts, be involved in the action or be the center of attention 24/7. Sometimes, I’m happy to just sit on the side lines and take in everything that’s going on without having to comment on it all. You could say I’m a wallflower; a quiet observer. Though to so many extroverts, being introverted is beyond their realms of understanding. Many people think that if you’re an introvert you must lead a 2D life and be completely and utterly boring. Am I boring? Hell no! So why do
people judge us this way, just because we’re quiet?
Being quiet adds an air of mystery. I don’t feel the need for people to know every inch of my life story. I’ve done some interestingthings so far in my 21 years of life. I just don’t scream and shout about it. When I tell people that I’ve done a spontaneous 20 ft. free fall jump (it was 8am, I was hungover and it was honestly a brilliant hangover cure and use of £4), they are gobsmacked. They can’t believe that I would do that, simply because I’m quiet. That makes no sense, what so ever. Being quiet doesn’t mean being void of any kind of personality or ability to have fun. Introverts simply just pay attention to their thoughts and feelings rather than focusing solely on the world around them. I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything but, I’m a right laugh. I just don’t feel it necessary to speak up and share my story with everyone. I’d rather keep people guessing, wondering what kind of things I’ve done, than just boast about it all the very first time I meet them. Yeah, I definitely prefer being an introvert, a lady of mystery.
Now, let’s just clear up one of the biggest misconceptions out there. Being an introvert and being shy are two completely different things. Being quiet doesn’t mean lacking confidence. I’m happy in my own skin and I’m even happier when I’m pushing my boundaries and stepping out of my comfort zone. I once went to a music festival, on my own, with no way home. I worked as an Artist Liaison, looking after the music artists back stage, where I had access all areas, met some wonderful people and had such an amazing time. Then, on the last day I just packed up my tent and hitch-hiked my way back home. Yet, because I’m quiet…I couldn’t surely have done such a thing. I’ve done a lot of things, that would ‘shock’ people because I can be so quiet. I’m quiet, but I’m confident. I love a spot of spontaneity, and the unknown excites me. So, just because someone is quiet, don’t be so quick to assume that they lack confidence or character. Please don’t assume that quiet is weak and loud is strong. It simply isn’t true. Some of the loudest people can be the most insecure, lacking confidence. While some of the quietest people can be the most self-assured and confident.
If I’m quiet, it must be because I have nothing interesting to say, right? Wrong. I just don’t always feel the need to engage in small talk. I apologise if that comes across as rude. Sometimes, I can be blunt and very to the point. Other times, I can hold deep, meaningful conversations. And sometimes, I love a good debate. There are so
many topics of conversation that deeply interest me. Gosh, I could speak for days about certain topics. I just speak when I wish to. I can be the loudest person in the room if I want to. Some of us just choose not to be. By quietly observing I can learn a lot about the other people in the room…whilst they are just left wondering why I’m so quiet. Remember, the quietest person can have the loudest of minds.
The thing I love most about being an introvert is that I march to the beat of my own drum. I don’t crave shallow, social relationships. That doesn’t mean I’m a total loner. I crave deep and meaningful social interaction. Believe it or not, I enjoy authentic company of a select few people rather than being in a large social setting. I don’t need to be surrounded by a sea of strangers to have fun. In fact, I can be happy in my own company. I don’t crave to fit in with crowd. I’m happy being me and going about things my own way. I’ve done so many exciting things in life and I plan to do so much more. I’m an introvert, I’m not boring and I’m not shy.
Next time you see the ‘quiet one’ in the room, don’t be so quick to judge them. There’s so much to them below that quiet surface. After all, a world without introverts would be a world with few great literary talent, musicians, artists or other creative souls. J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates,  Audrey Hepburn, Emma Watson…What do these four have in common? They are all incredibly successful and all self-proclaimed introverts. The proof that there is so much more than an introvert than just being quiet. All us introverts ask is that you stop making such false judgements about us. We know how to have fun, trust me. Oh and you don’t need to tell us that we are ‘soooo’ quiet, we already know that.
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18 Comments

  1. 24th March 2015 / 9:15 am

    Loved this post!! I love how you've done all these amazing things too, sounds so much fun and honestly I probably wouldn't have the confidence to do them (especially not the free fall jump haha!) so good on you girly! xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

    • 3rd April 2015 / 8:25 am

      Thank you so much! I've ticked a few things off my bucket-list and it honestly feels so amazing to do :). The free-fall jump was terrifying haha, it sure gets the adrenaline pumping!
      xxx

  2. 24th March 2015 / 4:11 pm

    I can definitely relate to this post! I am not shy or quiet either, just choosing to contribute when I wish to. When people meet me they say I am not shy or quiet… just reserved. I bet you get this too! And they're surprised when I can talk to them for hours about a subject we both enjoy!

    Definitely it's much better to surprise people than for them to think 'I already know.' Sounds like you've done some amazing things in your life already! 🙂

    Julia xo

    • 3rd April 2015 / 8:27 am

      Thanks Julia! I know exactly what you mean by just contributing when you wish to. I love the connections of being able to speak to someone for hours on end about a particular topic- deep conversations are always my favourite :).
      xxx

  3. 24th March 2015 / 4:57 pm

    You sum up me, to a tee. Especially to do with the fact that just because you are quiet, doesn't mean you aren't confident. It's so true!

    Great post!

    alittletwistof.co.vu

    • 3rd April 2015 / 8:28 am

      Thanks Meg! It's great to know that you can relate to this post :). So many people jump to the conclusion that if you aren't talking all the time then you must lack confidence, but it can be the complete opposite! Thank you 🙂
      xxx

  4. 24th March 2015 / 6:51 pm

    I LOVE this post and totally relate! Everyone thinks it is weird that I would rather spend time alone rather than be around people 24/7, it really wears me out!
    Abbie
    yetanotherstudentblog.blogspot.co.uk

    • 3rd April 2015 / 8:30 am

      I agree with you! Some days you need a break for the social interaction to recharge and reenergise.I get so excited by the prospects of having entire weekends to myself, it can be absolute bliss 🙂
      xxx

    • 3rd April 2015 / 8:35 am

      Thanks, that really means a lot! I was so nervous posting it so thank you, thank you, thank you!

  5. 28th March 2015 / 5:10 pm

    This is a beautifully written post. I can identify with so much of what you've said – I prefer to be friends with fewer people, but those I don't need to impress or run after to keep up with. I'm more thoughtful, sometimes I don't feel the need to speak at all, but other times you can't shut me up! Being an introvert doesn't mean that you have nothing to say, rather it means the things you do say are more carefully constructed. I have a great deal of self confidence, and while I may not be the loudest voice in the room, doesn't mean my presence isn't as valuable as others.

    I really enjoyed your post 🙂

    embouteillage-atasco.blogspot.com

    • 3rd April 2015 / 8:37 am

      Wow, thank you so much! You've summed it up perfectly in your comment. We're definitely on the same level. My best friend is someone that I can go weeks without speaking to (gosh, when I was at uni we didn't speak for months) but as soon as we're together, it's as if we were never apart. Having friends who understand your need for space and alone time is amazing :). I love your final comment and couldn't agree more that the quiet person in the room is just as valuable 🙂
      xxx

    • 6th April 2015 / 1:49 pm

      Omg yeah I'm the same me and my best friend just understand that when we're both at uni we're both busy we don't need to chat all the time because we know it'll be exactly the same when we're back home 🙂 yeah certainly!

  6. 30th March 2015 / 5:17 pm

    You're such a good writer! It's really interesting to hear all this from an introverts perspective. I'm very much an extrovert myself (have been all my life, no point denying it) so it's great to hear your thoughts! It's funny how we're all wired to be so totally different in this way isn't it?
    Fab post!
    lily x
    http://www.jolihouse.com

    • 3rd April 2015 / 8:39 am

      Thank you so much, Lily! This is amazing coming from you. Honestly, your writing style is one of my favourites so thank you. It's lovely to see that as an extrovert you enjoyed reading this post from the other point of view to your own :). I find the mind so interesting, I could get lost for hours thinking about how incredible it us that we're all so unique with our own quirks!
      xxx

  7. 3rd April 2015 / 10:18 pm

    This is such an amazing post. I'm an introvert and I feel like you have just summed up everything I've felt for ages, but couldn't put into words.

    http://beewritesx.blogspot.com

  8. 8th April 2015 / 3:55 am

    This is very relatable! I am the quiet one in my group. Depending on who I am with, I'll either be very quiet or non-stop talking. More often I'll be quiet. Great post btw!

    Jess
    http://springbaby06.blogspot.com.au/

  9. 6th May 2015 / 11:40 am

    Great thoughtful post, I'm very loud myself but it's nice to read the thoughts of someone who's a bit more quiet. x

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